total surrender

Powerful Promises

2009-04-20T12:48:00.003+10:00

Jesus said "If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you."
There's only one meaning here: if you don't live for Jesus Christ in submission to His will, you will perish. BUT, if you DO live for Him, whatever you ask of Him IT SHALL BE DONE!
WOW!
Dear reader, repent now, or perish! But, you may enquire, why repent; what is it I need to repent of? I know you ask this, and it took me some years to come to terms with my sinful life lived before a holy and righteous Father God. Before you repent and come to Jesus you will need to know Who you are up against, Who you struggle against. Pray God will convict you of your standing before Him, without Jesus Christ in your life. If you are brave, ask God to reveal His holiness to you. Ask today, before it is too late!

All quiet? Perhaps not....

2009-03-25T09:50:00.008+11:00

It's been all quiet on the evangelistic front. Not a post in yonks. I ask how can you speak much when you are listening or seeking His will? I hope to get back here more often and share some things; exciting times are ahead. I'm moving on after some 'road works' in my journey with Jesus. We are now sharing our time with a new family of believers somewhat closer to home. Praise God for every one of my new family of Christ-followers! I'm looking forward to joining in discipleship time tonight.

Such true heroism, such spirit of community

2009-02-19T10:10:00.003+11:00

It's been a while, quite a while since I last posted... but I'm still stunned. The bushfires in Victoria, Australia, have now taken more than 200 lives. These poor folk mostly stood no chance against the fiery flames advancing upon their communities, their very homes. Most had to decide either to stay and battle the flames to protect their homes, or flee. Some presumably took flight in their cars when the fires were upon them from all sides, but perished in the thick fumes. There has emerged amazing tales of miraculous escape amidst the saddest stories of loss of family and friends. Families have been cut in two by this tragedy, some surviving, whilst their other family members perished in the flames. The firefighters came to rescue others whilst in many cases their own homes were engulfed by the fires. Such true heroism, such spirit of community! I've been humbled by the actions of so many, who gave up their own life to take on the challenges presented to others. This all reminds me of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. His sacrifice is sufficient to save us all. Do you know Jesus Christ, and the power of His salvation work in your life?

In Jesus' waiting room

2009-01-29T07:17:00.002+11:00

If I have a problem, what do I do about it? If it's something issuing from my nature, how can I resolve this? If we were honest all the time, our sinful, flesh nature is indeed sick. We need a doctor, or perhaps a surgeon. We need help. The usual course of action is to seek out a qualified doctor who will rid us of our illness asap and make us well. The same should be true when we realise our sin. As told earlier, when I came to the full realisation of my true condition compared to a holy God, I melted. I came up last. I was a loser. However, when I then dwelt on the nature and credentials of Jesus Christ, I just knew He could help me. I weighed the options pre-surrender in Jesus' "waiting room". Would I relent, give in, surrender and seek His help? Or would I go away, fighting my own battles forever? I anguished over this but "knew" what my decision was going to be. I was facing the greatest love ever given me, the love of a Father and His servant Son, Jesus. I knew Jesus loved me and loves me today. I surrendered. I sought the help of Jesus, the Master Surgeon. So today, whenever I see an aspect of my flesh nature causing disease, I soon consult Jesus. He is my Lord, My Saviour, the Healer of my disease. Is Jesus your Lord, your Healer?

We will stand firm in the last day!

2009-01-20T11:02:00.005+11:00

Two years ago today I married the woman I love. We have travelled far and made a wonderful new life together in God's hands. He is a perfect, loving Father, and we continue to put our faith in Him. This world is full of death and strife and crime and vulgarity but all the while if we follow the path Jesus leads us by, we will stand firm in the last day. Today I give honour and glory to the One Who set my wife and I free from ourselves and from our sin. We are only righteous this day by the righteousness Christ has covered us in, by His shed blood. He is most worthy and we agree to allow Jesus to continue the work He has begun in us at the first day we believed. Praise God!

We forged our mutual future

2009-01-14T09:40:00.003+11:00

I only needed to hear from one woman and then I would cease my search. After a week or so I received an email. We emailed, chatted, emailed, met and chatted and then we forged our mutual future. We decided to marry and two former families would become one new family! My new-found trust in Christ was underpinning my life, and also my fiancee was encouraging and building me up as well. From two families of 4 children each, we formally started our life together as one family of 8 children, two spouses, and five grandchildren. We married early in 2007 and began to map out our new life. Since that beautiful, inspiring time, my wife and I have witnessed many joys and heartaches, and yet, at day's end, we can not only comfort each other, we have a shared faith in one Saviour, one Lord, our dear Jesus Christ. He has proved faithful and will continue to be faithful until that day He calls both of us home. I finally have found perfect peace and happiness...

There's nothing new about this New Year

2009-01-04T20:17:00.002+11:00

It's a new year and everything seems new, refreshed. Or does it? Over the new year period the Palestinian militants have again sent missiles into the heart of the state of Israel, and Israel has retaliated in like manner albeit with much more pronounced force. How futile, how ingrained is this hatred for the state of Israel. How pathetic is the Israeli response to these rocket attacks. There's nothing new about this; it's the same old, same old. Can lasting peace ever come at the hands of man? I doubt it, we all need a Saviour with Power from the Living God. We all need Jesus. Welcome to my new year, where I will endeavour to introduce Jesus the Saviour to as many as will listen. So please take some time out this year, and listen...

Deliverance

2008-12-24T22:25:00.003+11:00

This is a truly precious moment. The full realisation that God the Creator's love for us did not abandon us. Instead, when we are at our deepest anguish, God delivers. God brought His Son into this world at one time-event in history. God delivered Him to us as a child, helpless, innocent of any wrong. Jesus grew and delivered Himself up for us, as a helpless man, again, innocent of any sin. What greater gift than this; that God Himself offered Jesus to us, that by faith in Jesus, we might be saved. We are delivered from this life of sin and enmity with God, into God's wonderful Kingdom. What a Deliverer we have in Jesus! What a God Who loves us so! I pray that you too may discover God's deliverance through Jesus Christ this Christmas time. May your heart be opened to receive and know God's love through Jesus.

Where are you?

2008-12-17T22:27:00.002+11:00

If we really know what Jesus has already accomplished for us, we should respond. If we know God's holiness, His full nature, we should be on our knees asking His forgiveness. If we have asked Jesus to save us, and given Him our heart and our life, then we should be changed. We should then get up and stand firm, knowing His salvation is sure, His victory complete, our sins forgiven. Do you know this for yourself? Do you stand fully as a child of God in awe of His nature? Which side of the cross are you? Are you trembling deep down, in fear? Or have you met Christ at the cross, given yourself to Him and now walk tall? Where are you? Your heart knows the truth this very day!

God the Creator

2008-12-11T19:46:00.000+11:00

We are truly wonderfully created.

A quiet assurance

2008-12-08T14:11:00.003+11:00

I knew I was different, inside. I instantly knew my life had undergone some form of shift. I lived in a state of peace from that moment on. I knew I feared no-one, because God was my Father, and Jesus was going to begin His work in my heart. I had a quiet assurance that all will forever be well, because I gave God my consent to continue His 'work' in me that He had first begun the moment I believed Jesus was my Saviour. Somehow the realisation that all those years between my finding God's love for me at the Crusade in 1979 to this day, didn't trouble me. I was in the mighty hands of the living God, Who loved me and gave up His Son Jesus for me. I just knew, I knew, I knew! Shortly after this period I began to believe that my days on the websites searching for a friend were coming to an end. I trusted God with my future when I started my search just 12 months before, and I certainly trusted Him now. I felt at ease in sending out some final emails asking if anyone I had previously contacted were interested in keeping a friendship going. I had found 3 or 4 new people and included them in my email. No replies resulted from this first attempt, so I repeated my enquiries in a fuller form. I only needed to hear from one woman and I would cease my search. And if I heard from no-one this would likewise be a sign that my searching was over for a time. Nothing happened for a week or so, and then I received one response.

The sweet mystery of the Gospel

2008-12-07T07:31:00.003+11:00

I decided to follow Jesus. Now, this was not an idle, spur of the moment decision made several years ago. I remember all too well the anguish of relinquishing my control over my life. On one side I fully realised the love of God, on the other I knew what had been a long lifetime of David being the master of David. How would I give up such familiar territory? I knew it was God's plea that had now gotten me on my knees in anguished prayer. But it was now to be God's loving, faithful nature that won me my freedom in Christ.
I surrendered to Jesus.
But how can surrender bring freedom? Ah, that is the sweet mystery of the Gospel! I immediately knew in that moment of surrender that my long years of fighting were over. God, my wonderful, awesome heavenly Father immediately took me in His mighty arms. I was His, and I knew it through and through. If you have thought on this mystery of giving God your everything, your life, stop now and weigh up the opportunity. God will certainly be faithful, and He will help you. But can you stop a moment and help yourself?

Just a few questions

2008-12-05T11:39:00.004+11:00

A few questions to the atheist: where does life come from? What is life? Is it ever created, and if so, by Whom? If it is not created, it has no beginning; it always was. Oh boy, now that is scary! We are all part of some amorphous universe-wide lifeform? As I think on this one I will believe SomeOne called God made us. He made us unique, special, one-of-a-kind. I say this not because of ego, but my brain finds it nonsense to believe as we see variety and diversity and uniqueness of all things around us, we also observe this uniqueness amongst people. Why should I have a non-unique existence? Do we see roboticism prevalently displayed in the world in creatures? No, surely, we are all unique, possessing a degree of free will. No, atheist: you, today must choose. I hope you choose wisely.

Just three F's

2008-12-01T08:58:00.004+11:00

Ask yourself this question: are you interested in the three F's? Does your life mean anything at all? Maybe 75% of people worldwide haven't even heard of Jesus Christ. They haven't been in a "church" and probably never wish to. They don't believe Jesus is the son of God, let alone even that God exists.
But if you have heard about Jesus, I believe if you ask yourself these three questions you will find the Truth of where you stand, today, before Him.
Do you wish to find Jesus? Are you even looking for Him?
If you have found Him, do you want Him to feed you? Are you hungry for the Truth in Christ?
If you are being fed, are you now willing to follow Jesus Christ? Are you willing to take up your cross and follow after Him?
If you dare to seek, He will help you find the Way to God's Kingdom.
If you want the Truth, Jesus will feed you the Truth.
If you wish to find Life, follow Jesus.
Take a moment aside now to ask yourself...

I knew

2008-11-20T07:00:00.004+11:00

When God speaks to you, just as a father speaks to his son, you just know he is correct. I was convicted immediately by God requiring my surrender. Now this may be difficult for one who denies the very existence of the Creator God, but nonetheless I cannot deny my revelation and response. The game I had played took on a whole new perspective and it was as if God was allowing me to see the value of what His Son, Jesus, had done in making His sacrifice on my behalf. In a matter of moments I was on my knees focussed on what I needed to do. Here was God, my heavenly Father Who loved me requiring a response from me! I anguished long and hard over surrendering my will to His. It was not going to be easy. I knew God was near me, at my very side in the person of Jesus, and He would never leave me nor forsake me. I knew He was trustworthy, and true. I knew enough of Jesus to begin to weigh up my surrender. I was moving closer to Him and He held me in His mighty hands. I knew. I surrendered up to Jesus my life, my will, my heart, my everything. I was finally, truly His! And immediately peace came upon me such as I have never known. In tears I thanked God for His trustworthy nature and His love for me. God loved me and I decided to follow Jesus Christ.

What, me worry?

2008-11-18T14:19:00.005+11:00

Are you really worried? Terrified? Is your world seeming unsteady due to the current world financial crisis? "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" Jesus warns. Where is your treasure; your heart? Tied up in mammon perhaps? If so, you should be terrified because your treasure is being taken away this day and it's out of control. Put your heart in Jesus Christ's hands and you will be at peace. Trust God!

So, there is no God? Really...

2008-11-13T12:42:00.004+11:00

How could I deny my experiences? Many people fall into the rut of denying God's existence. They seem to hold to whatever their brain can make out concerning life's weightier issues, and mostly arrive at the conclusion God cannot exist because of this, because of that. How odd! Many argue that from their life experience they have no evidence of God, nothing. How can one find something or someone if you don't begin to search? I simply believe if you look, you will find! A good think may help these God-deniers come to the truth of His rule over all things. I tend to believe most people mouth responses which they've picked up second-hand or else find the whole topic boring. How sad! My life has been lived with the usual doubts, confusions and myriad diversions to finding the truth, just like yours. I'm lazy, easily bored and frustrated in life just like you. But one thing I did learn early in life was my limitational existence. I pondered the big things and they brought me into the presence of He Who Loves me. I must say though, God did not speak out of my game playing because of any superior worth I would have over anyone else. I'm not that special, I'm not separated as unique over and above my 'neighbour' and certainly not at his expense. Somehow, in amongst my days, God chose to reveal Himself to me gradually over time. How do I know this is God? My heart and my mind confirm Him in His working throughout my days. It's hard to describe. My initial time of denying of God's existence, through the living of my life as if I am in any control, to the moment of His requiring me to respond to Him, has become a wonderful tapestry laid before me, pointing me towards Him. Words fail me to explain, but I just know fully I walk and Jesus Christ walks 'beside' me. Praise God!

Dead means dead

2008-11-12T13:08:00.005+11:00

Back to the game. I remember thinking of the theme of sacrificing one's life for the good of your men. I remember being so acutely aware that this game allowed me to 'respawn' and come back to life if killed, yet real life allowed for no such trivialities. Dead means dead. As I played, I pondered the deeper values of existence, especially as to what God required of me. After playing through this game for a few months, on and off, I came to a most gruelling part. I was pinned behind a low wall with three German soldiers firing at me, as I fired back. I needed to get past them to move on to the next section, to re-unite with my buddies. I was all alone firing away, but to no avail. I was pinned down behind this flimsy brick wall, trapped. Then God spoke. God asked me "How long will you wrestle with Me? How long will you struggle against Me?" Stunned, I halted in my tracks, instantly realising a great truth. It was one thing to know about Jesus and His sacrifice for me, but had I replied to His call on my life? Had I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ? No! I had been wrestling with God all these years, and now He was calling on me to decide: come to Jesus in surrender, or continue to struggle and strive in my own strength. I knew what I wanted to do!

In His Hands

2008-11-01T21:38:00.004+11:00

During this time I was aware God was nearby. I played my games, I surfed the net, and I met some new 'friends' on an introduction website. I was telling myself all would be well; that I was in God's Hands. I had chatted with some women and planned to meet one lady for lunch on a sunny Saturday. I somehow knew she wasn't as keen as I was to meet people, she seemed to be a spectator. On the other hand, I was beginning to trust that God would prove something mighty in all this. I had nothing to lose. Whilst driving to my lunch appointment, I became aware on this otherwise deserted highway, that I was gaining upon a very small car, who had stopped at the traffic lights ahead. This car caught my attention, and moreso for the astonishing rear window message it carried. As I came to a stop behind, I read in the largest white letters, stuck on this car's small rear window, the message "IN HIS HANDS"! I couldn't believe it! I immediately began laughing with pure joy and took this message to be a confirmation that I truly was in God's Hands. We came together a few times at several traffic stops, long enough for me to truly trust God was firmly in control of today and the future as well. With this fresh in my mind, I was elated, and further down the highway I came up behind a large van with a small message stuck on its rear window. Surely not, I thought, no Lord, not another message! Yes, as clear as day, this vehicle had "TRUE LOVE WAITS" stuck on its rear window. After this day, I was ready for whatever God had for me next...

The opening of a door

2008-10-30T12:12:00.002+11:00

This was going to be a long gameplay. I had come to a comfortable time in my life when I began to think about several important aspects including where I was going, what would the future hold, and most importantly, would I share my life with someone special? Days became predictable, the children almost 'grown up' and I spent my spare time on the web searching for friends. Over 6 months I met up with several women, all divorced and lunched with several. I wasn't sure what I wanted, or if I would find the woman 'meant for me'... One day I asked God about all this in an odd moment of snatched prayer time. I began to trust Him and believed for the first time in my life that God was in control of my life, that He would bring someone into my life in His time, in His way. For the first time ever, I had been given faith to trust God fully. It was the opening of a door into what would become my future. And in playing this Xbox game of the deeds of soldiers fighting to free Europe from Nazism, I began to think of the reality of war. Men and women laying down their lives in battle to enable their comrades to make it through to the end. Soldiers fighting in a real horror that would see their lives snatched from them by a single bullet. I dwelt on this sacrifice, this brotherly comradeship, this giving up of one's life for the common 'good'. I was inwardly moved by playing through the real-life stages of this game and early one evening my life changed in no uncertain terms. God spoke directly to my heart...

Random moments of angst

2008-10-28T12:36:00.006+11:00

Every now and then I sensed
I was off-course... I'd be so engrossed in daily life that I never thought on 'spiritual things' nor gave Jesus my time, not even a few minutes. But every now and then I'd get an instant message from Jesus which stopped me in my tracks. "You mean..." I said, followed by a sense of dread, and I would ponder my eternal destiny. I had no real conviction in my heart I would see Jesus let alone enter God's Kingdom. I'd told myself back in the early 80s I was saved and born again, and obviously my self-delusion kept me going for a time. I did trust Jesus Christ as my Saviour but He wasn't allowed to rule my life. But I didn't understand Who Christ was as my Saviour. These random moments of angst were getting me to realise I may well be a goat instead of one of Christ's flock of sheep. Like a tap on my shoulder I would pause a while, but then carry on with business as usual. Life flowed on, I played my Xbox games, I stole, I lied and cheated and I thought impurities. Then one day in early 2005, as I played a based-on-real-events war game entitled "Brothers in Arms: Road to Hill 30" I was confronted by the living God.

"Right up my alley", I thought

2008-10-23T12:07:00.002+11:00

1999... the year I visited Paris, London and got retrenched from work. I somehow knew this new millenium would bring a few surprises. I had a certain calm when told of being retrenched from my job of 10 years. I didn't panic, I wasn't worried, I accepted that there was to be something good around the corner. After much answer to quietly spoken prayer, I was 're-instated' in a new role in the company, a role as art director on a PC magazine. "Right up my alley", I thought! I found new enthusiasm and somehow started my slow journey back to Jesus. My home life had settled in to a calm routine, the children were growing up well, and apart from two episodes of depression, I felt I was going somewhere. Just where this was, I wasn't sure, but I gained new confidence in my early 50s as I enjoyed life. I became an avid Xbox game player and visited several web forums centred on this interest, returning often to one in particular where I had made many 'phantom internet friends'. I enjoyed playing the odd racing game, some adventure games, and I also fought my way through several violent, war games. The latter scared me as my 'nerves' were never my strongest asset, but I pushed on. Several years ago, my life consisted of two parallel pathways which would soon intersect. One path was my Xbox game playing, the other was my interest in where my future lay...

Something vital was missing

2008-10-22T07:04:00.003+11:00

It was 10 years since God spoke to my heart at the crusade. It was to be another 10 years on when I won a flight to Paris. Travelling with my sister, we enjoyed the suddenness of it all, and independently wanted to return to Paris and London. From 1989 to 1999 I steered our family the best I could, constantly aware I was not necessarily aligned with God's will for us. In that time I often contemplated my eternal future, but something vital was amiss. I realised Jesus had taken hold of me and was caring for our family. I realised at times God's peace was upon us, but there was an awkwardness about all this. I didn't quite understand that it was vital for me to respond to what Jesus Christ had done for me, in giving up His life and paying the penalty for my sinful nature before a holy God. I just didn't understand at all. I felt that this life was all there was, this life lived in my strength but also knowing God loved me and His one and only Son had died, so that I might live. I didn't quite get it that Jesus and I were struggling with this. I didn't realise at all that my eternal destiny hinged on my response to Jesus Christ and His sacrifice for me. I didn't realise I had not surrendered.

Life

2008-10-21T12:16:00.004+11:00

Life is just like this at times...

Existence without joy and hope is but a mist

2008-10-18T16:56:00.004+11:00

Ten years can pass quickly. 1989 was the beginning of "living dangerously" but not for Jesus. Many things happened but these were times when God distinctly was preserving all of us. Healthwise, with the exception of their mother, the children were well and free of the usual traumas many families face. Praise God! They slowly came to terms as best they could with the fact this single Dad was now solely responsible for their welfare and they had to accept his authority. There was no Mum at home, and their Mum never looked like getting well again. We all settled into a familiar routine, and my God had His Hands upon us. Praise God! However, I was less keen as the years rolled by to return to anything of the semi-faith I had held onto over the preceeding decade, before the stress of family breakup entered the equation. I was happy, the children were happy, life was good. But how good was this, how happy were we all, really? Mere existence is one thing, but unless that existence brings joy and is permeated by hope in something better, the existence is but a mist. My heart knew my true state, but I continued to tell myself lies. I told myself I was happy, I was a Christian who loved Jesus, and that He was my anchor. Lies, all lies; I had no more love for Jesus Christ than I had for any other "device" which would keep me afloat. I was slowly drowning in "self" and trusting myself to help me. There was no Christ-centred life in obedience for this man. I was a living lie.

I placed Jesus Christ on the back-burner

2008-10-16T12:29:00.004+11:00

No, it wasn't exactly scary... it became my life. Realising I had a "job" ahead of me to be the best Dad (and Mum, to some degree) I told myself all sorts of "coping" things to make it through each week. Our children were (and are!) beautiful, and deserved the best I could give them. We moved a couple of times, and finally bought a home in Sydney's west, which would be our haven, our fortress. I suffered depression and anxiety attacks in those early years but settled down after some good medication and counselling. Would we go back to church? I tried, venturing out with family in tow and found so much LOVE I oddly became weak at the knees and decided my emotional state wasn't ready for church "business as usual". We drifted along for the next decade during which my older children entered their teen years and, I was divorced. As a "single Dad" I had no ambition to find a special friend again, and began to place Jesus Christ on my back-burner. I wasn't angry at "religion", nor God, nor anyone in particular, but I was determined to get my own good health back. I wanted to drift awhile, to become strong again. I remember saying Jesus will still be there when I'm ready for Him anyway. How true that hope was!

Good News

2008-10-14T16:21:00.002+11:00

The slow decline into some other person

2008-10-08T11:34:00.003+11:00

Illness. A lack of good health; mostly easy to spot when it's physical, not so easy when the mind is involved. Not that there weren't symptoms but it wasn't obvious to notice when life is hectic, strange, stressed. Our children were fine but their mother became chronically mentally ill over a period of several months, culminating in several extreme episodes of frenzied behaviour. Maybe I was responsible for this, maybe I hastened its appearance, but during April, 1989 she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. This was to be the first of many admissions, so deteriorated had her health become. Our children witnessed the slow decline of their mother into some other person, and they needed my support. We had several de-briefings after our many visits to the hospital, after "Mummy was saying odd things and acting strangely". Despite all my then wife and I could do to maintain our marriage, we divorced a couple of years later. I became a "single Dad" raising four children with God's help. It was tough, but I remember the night I put my full trust in God to carry us all through this time. He did; He was faithful to us, whilst I continued my plunge into "self" and tried to work things out alone...

Why do my enemies prosper?

2008-10-05T20:45:00.005+11:00

Or, at least why do they seem to prosper? I asked my Father, and then found Psalm 37:1-9:

"Do not fret because of the wicked; do not be envious of wrongdoers, for they will soon fade like the grass, and wither like the green herb. Trust in the LORD, and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will make your vindication shine like the light, and the justice of your cause like the noonday. Be still before the LORD, and wait patiently for him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way, over those who carry out evil devices. Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath. Do not fret; it leads only to evil. For the wicked shall be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land."

So, I will not fret, not be envious, will trust God, will delight in Him, will commit my ways to Him, will be still, will wait patiently, will refrain from anger, will forsake wrath! Praise God!

Unusual behaviour developing

2008-09-30T14:58:00.002+10:00

It had been a hard slog on our children and their mother. They followed wherever I had led them. Our mortgage had been long cast adrift and we survived on the cash from the sale of our home during my year at college. We'd moved into a rented house before my attending college, then early the following year, after the birth of our youngest child, we were to move out due to it being sold. My wife was suffering post-natal depression during my college year and was getting sicker by the week. Undiagnosed, the illness developed into a form of schizophrenia which manifested in unusual behaviour later in that year. There were many factors causing instability in our home, and only looking back the following year could I see my responsibility towards making her illness worse. But worse it became; we took a holiday after Christmas 1988, and I had been accepted to work back in my old job that I had left 30 months before. I felt we were moving into a more secure existence after the madness of the 18 months of work at the organisation and then a year at college. I felt the past 12 months had been an utter waste of time, and we had suffered terribly in the financial sense. Where was God, where was His provision, where was His promise to "keep" us? As I resumed my cast-off occupation and brought home a decent wage each week, my world seemed to at last be "looking up." But in the total reality of what my family had endured over the previous 3 years, things were about to take a disasterous plunge.

One highlight was morning tea

2008-09-25T13:59:00.003+10:00

I sure wasn't there just for the doughnuts. I remember how much flak I received from certain members of my local church when I informed them of my intention to attend Morling College during 1988. My chief obstacle was in attempting to explain that my attending was neither anything at all to do with the church, nor my past 18 months working for the pentecostal company. The pastor, church secretary and some few others took exception to the latter alliance with pentecostalism and my new-found enthusiasm. Mind you, this year of study proved not to be God-ordained, nor was it to be church-ordained! I pressed on regardless through the year of study. One highlight was morning tea on Fridays where yummy doughnuts were the day's specialty. The lectures were fine, but as to how much I learnt is open to doubt. Not that we were fed incorrect material, no, it was more that what was being fed was my brain, not my heart. Later in the year, after much questioning, I realised I was a fish out of water. This was not my place; the Lord obviously wanted something else for me. Little did I know when "graduating" later in the year, that within only 7 months my family and I would be in such bitter, agonising turmoil.

This lopsided transaction

2008-09-23T10:52:00.003+10:00

We were virtually penniless. This 'ministry' work I was involved with had not been paying me my wage; we had little savings. We decided the way ahead was to sell our home to finance the next step into Christ's call on my life. How wrong a move, how ill-advised was I to think God would prosper us when I sought my own path in Jesus. I was leading Him, and not submitted to His will in the least. It was a painful time of decision-making but we pressed on. One highlight of my last months at the organisation, was when God gave me His Holy Spirit. Just why He did at this time, I'm not too sure, it was a hugely uneven trade. God's Spirit began to work in me from that day, despite my unwillingness to give my life to Jesus in submission. I missed the point, but I did know God was my heavenly Father Who loved me. He gave me His gift of praying in another language, which opened up my relationship with Him immensely. Armed with this lopsided transaction: God's Spirit living within, and my spirit still in virtual rebellion, we moved on. I decided God was calling me to go on to Bible College. We sold our home, lived on the proceeds during the coming year, and I became a theology student.

Soothing our anxieties with puffy nonsense

2008-09-22T09:37:00.002+10:00

A weekend has passed, and I find myself listening to two teenage students on the train. How typical of most of us in that they tossed around common concerns, made grandiose plans, spoke of mutual friends and chose easy paths. Most interesting was their reflection of tomorrow's exam, I believe in a physical education course. One student informed the other of the impending exam to which the hearer expressed surprise. He obviously hadn't prepared or else didn't know of its upcoming arrival. Both students then consoled themselves about aspects which to them meant the exam would be a walk-over. Isn't this typical of all of us when facing the inevitable? Don't we tell ourselves glossy encouragements, most of which are grounded in falsehood. Or we seek the encouragement of others who will pamper us and soothe our anxieties with puffy nonsense. we 'feel' soothed, relaxed, and ready for the challenge. That is, until the day of reckoning. Nervousness and anxiety invariably resurface because our assurance of salvation from pain is founded on deception. How about you; are you prepared for that One Great Day? Are you prepared sufficiently to meet Jesus Christ, King of kings, Lord of lords; our Judge?

I must act, I must act now!

2008-09-19T16:19:00.004+10:00

I pushed and pushed and pushed... I was convinced God wanted me to leave my regular job and go out into the world and... and... of just what I was not sure! I even listened to the counsel of an elder Christian at the time who strongly suggested I put all plans on hold until our young children were much older. He advised I then seek God's plan for our lives at that time, even if it was 10 or more years away. Oh no, I thought, I must act now! After all I was on fire! I can see now my enthusiasm was mostly self-inflicted and I had done a marvellous job of convincing myself and my wife that a huge but dangerous event was looming. So I left my well-paid employment and landed in a small Christian evangelical group which produced Christian tracts and music. We all were "on fire" in the pentecostal way, brother! But this was to prove an arduous, soul-destroying 18 months of servitude. I left my employ there almost penniless, but still convinced God wanted me for bigger and better things. Little did I know the ship I was now steering was headed for the rocks, and in a mighty way...

Because God alone is worthy!

2008-09-18T10:33:00.002+10:00

Confronting, yes, but essential if you want to follow Christ:

A pattern of self-deception

2008-09-17T09:54:00.003+10:00

I was so sure. I knew what God wanted of me; He wanted me to do what He spoke of in His Word. He wanted me to witness, be kind, be gentle, read my Bible, pray and be church-going. At least this is what I convinced myself was His will for me. I became one-eyed about a lot of things; our marriage and young family was enveloped by Jesus I thought, so what could go wrong? My work became a drudge as I felt deeply that to "live dangerously" meant to do something extreme, something "dangerous", after all. Can you see the pit I was about to fall into? Can you see a pattern of self-deception I practised? I know God is not requiring any of those things at all from any of us; all He requires is our "will", our "heart". Self-propelled by my inner drive, 'my' drive, I left my employment of 15 years to join a small Christian group in 1986, who produced tracts, newsletters and music. I was excited, and fearful all at the same time. Looking back I had none of Christ's peace, but all of my strength. I was moving ever closer to the pit of despair...

A citadel of self in the city

2008-09-16T11:58:00.006+10:00

I cannot believe it! We read in scripture of the "tares amongst the wheat" and the "leaven of the Pharisees" but I found an incredible 'church' website in my travels...
http://www.stmichaels.org.au/
It calls itself "St Michaels Uniting Church" and it is the most unholy, Christ-less, demonic-inspired citadel of self you could encounter. And I thought most apostacy was centred in the USA, not here in Australia in the heart of Melbourne, Victoria. Gird your loins with the truth before entering such places!

If suddenly your world turned upside down

2008-09-14T21:31:00.003+10:00

Passion. What stirs your heart? Somewhere over the years I developed an interest in Formula One racing. As a spectator, I began to appreciate the difficulties of maintaining a winning car. So many aspects of coordinated planning, development and testing had to meet with a driver who could handle the resultant machine. The driver trained himself to withstand the G-forces he would meet on track as well as the pressures he would encounter during a race. He faced equally prepared drivers on a circuit which would test their credentials at every turn. The thrill of watching your favourite team bring home the trophy after a successful 2 hours of racing was a joy beyond compare. Now, what is your passion? And what if tomorrow you lost your passion for your favourite pasttime? What if suddenly your world turned upside down and you faced a future denied this opportunity to enjoy your passion? Would you find that bitterness and frustration had become your constant companions? Would you crave a replacement to fill the void? Stop and think what it is that stirs your heart? Is it a man-made device, or is it something God-given? Is your passion of eternal worth? Shortly after my willingness to "live dangerously for Jesus" I was to face my biggest crisis.

Happy days

2008-09-11T22:36:00.001+10:00

Some days are just like this...

I was propelled out of my seat

2008-09-09T09:34:00.003+10:00

I was nonetheless growing in my faith. Sermons were exciting, and we started attending Bible studies and encountered challenges to long-held preconceptions. Our first two children came to some understanding of Who God is, during our daily devotional times. But something was still missing. One Sunday, we heard from a missionary couple who were involved in smuggling Bibles into China. In those days, it was illegal to claim Christ. They presented their mission well, and I became intrigued. More than that, as the man spoke I was aware of a stirring in my heart. At the close of his message, he asked of us "who wants to live dangerously for Jesus?"... I was propelled out of my seat! My heart was open, my mind focused on service. I was ready for Jesus. I loved Him, I wanted to do whatever He wished for me. I have carried this in my heart ever since. However, there was something He wanted me to realise first before He could claim me as His servant.

The battle

2008-09-06T12:34:00.001+10:00

Take the time to read one of these...

I thought I was too good to sin

2008-09-06T12:08:00.004+10:00

A dream, what's in a dream? Usually not much except jumbled faces in mixed-up scenarios if your dreams are like mine. I was getting to know Jesus several years after He clearly spoke to my heart at the crusade. I knew some of His nature, and managed to fill in the missing bits with my own intellect. How wrong, how pseudo-Christian! But Jesus was not about to give up on me. I knew the dream was from Him; it was so vivid, so alive, so real. And it shook my boots. I questioned myself on my committment and told myself what I'd heard others say many times before: "don't worry, relax and be happy." My heart knew I had not given anything to Jesus by way of submission to His will, and I was also a little flakey on exactly what He had done for me. Why did God require Jesus to die, what is this about Him being the "Lamb of God"? What is sin? In my heart I thought I was too good for sin, in fact I thought I "deserved" to be saved. How arrogant, how evil, how wrong! God had spoken to my heart, and now He had given me this dream. What should I do with it? I secretly told myself I would fight. The battle for my heart, my very life, had begun. Both spiritual armies were gathered for war; my self nature defending the David Bastion of Self against invasion by God's army of salvation, the very Lord Jesus Christ Himself...

Within hearing distance of God's Word

2008-09-04T13:18:00.003+10:00

Last night we had a church meeting. I'd been nominated to lead the evangelism outreach ministry of my local Baptist church, and after a wonderful time of discussing business to hand, my nomination was accepted. I'm thrilled as it means I have now have a responsibility for seeking out the "lost" and bringing them into hearing distance of God's Word. I know God will enable and encourage me on this new path, as in my own strength I know my limitations... If only earlier on I could have seen my destiny work out the way it has and done something about truly following Jesus in submission, years ago! I can only say praise God! "Those who lose their life for My sake and the gospel's will gain it; those who keep their life will lose it." Amen.

The lighthouse glistened on the grassy hilltop

2008-09-02T11:23:00.006+10:00

The dream was crystal clear and profound. My search for what Jesus wanted of me was going nowhere, it seemed. I had learnt quite a lot about faith in Christ and put some of it into practice. The easy bits, for sure. I knew God loved me, I knew Jesus is His Son, in fact, is God Himself. I knew the righteous will live by faith. I knew God's Spirit dwelt within me and had given me His gifts. But I was strongly, firmly, persistently, hanging on to my life. I didn't fully trust Jesus, and any faith I had in Him was probably 99% from me, 1% from God. Then I dreamt a beautiful, vivid dream... I was approaching this sunlit lighthouse, brightly and freshly-painted, glistening on a green grassy hilltop. I was making my way up to this lighthouse, which I knew was my home, was me. I was leading Jesus to my home. He followed quietly behind me as I opened the unlocked entry door of iron bars, and proceeded up the stairs inside. Jesus followed, I led. Coming to the landing near the summit, before me was the last door, again made of iron bars, which led into the top floor where the beacon stood. The beacon was not alight, but the lighthouse was bathed in brilliant sunshine nonetheless. Then I felt dread as I expected the last door to be unlocked, but no, it was firmly bolted shut. I awoke clearly shaken by the dream, and concerned what message from God lay within this dream. My heart knew; my mind would not accept the same.

She was a beautiful woman

2008-09-01T10:36:00.005+10:00

I went to my cousin's funeral on Saturday. Always single, Lee loved anyone in uniform, birds, pets and the colour blue, and there were many fine tributes paid to Lee at her service. Her life in this world ended at the hands of aggressive breast cancer. She was a beautiful woman, a real joy to visit and a blessing to her family. Most of her immediate family have died, leaving a brother and sister and their spouses. Funerals can be sad times, but times of joy also. This memorial service for Lee was conducted by members of the special hospice Lee was an integral part of for some years. However, I left the occasion with a deep sadness knowing that not all those paying their respects would necessarily join Lee in the arms of the Lord Jesus Christ. We all must decide where it is we put Jesus when we find Him. Will we make Him our Saviour, but not ask Him to take our lives fully, as Lord? Or will we live the lie that no decision needs be made in regards to Christ's accomplished work of redemption, for and on our behalf? Will we end our lives as enemies of God because we never stopped to ponder our own ultimate destiny? I hope that you will earnestly seek the Truth about life and death, and Who it is you should serve. I'm pretty sure Lee knew God and in her special way has finally been given into the arms of Jesus.

I wanted more than warming a pew

2008-08-31T17:34:00.008+10:00

Something fishy going on here... Off to church I went, week after week for the next 10 or so years. Mighty fine Christian people went along also, but, but... something seemed wrong. The question lingered with me; what do I do "next". You can sense I had some sort of "sausage-factory expectation" of what being a Christian meant. Oh those years, they were full of every emotion possible. I loved singing hymns, listening to and critiquing the sermons, dwelling a lot on spiritual matters. I'd convinced myself I was headed for heaven when an odd little cartoon movie crossed my path. It was the 'Pilgrim's Progress' executed in a quaint child-like manner, but with a deep message. My heart was both troubled and elated by this movie; I wanted more, I wanted to take the pilgrim's journey. I realised the road ahead would be narrow and frought with danger at every turn. But I wanted more, much more than warming a pew every Sunday. I knew there was more, but where, and how? It was then that I had "the dream", crystal clear and profound.

The buzzword of the 80s

2008-08-29T16:43:00.004+10:00

Either the world had changed, or else I had. The next few months were filled with new challenges and a vastly different perspective on my part. Off to church for me each Sunday, not because it was "the right thing to do" but more out of an innocent inquisitiveness. I was keen to find out more about my God, my Jesus. I was an open book, ready to record any new spiritual insights or adventures. I admitted to myself I was confused, but I wanted the Truth. I believed at the time I must have been born again, the buzzword of the 80s. I told myself I was now a Christian, I was now saved and I was in God's control. How wrong I proved myself to be many years later when I discovered just who controlled me! I had encountered the knowing in my heart that God loved me, and that Jesus had died for me. I learnt a lot in the next decade, but I didn't realise I had not responded by faith to all of this; Jesus was my Saviour, but He was far from being my Lord. It was life more or less as before, except I had been claimed by the Creator. I asked around what was next for me to do, to which the response came: "there's nothing else to do, forget about it". What dismal advice, since my heart was still strangely hungry...

It was my God and me

2008-08-28T12:16:00.006+10:00

I was seated almost at the back row of Randwick Racecourse in Sydney. There were thousands of people awaiting Billy Graham's message. From that distance, he appeared as a tiny speck in the distance; but his words proved anything other than tiny. He spoke of God and how He loves us all; he spoke of Jesus Who loved us to the point of death; he spoke of many things which soon strangely seemed as if God was in a singular conversation with me. God spoke through Billy to me, quietly, in this vast arena. Near the end of his message Billy Graham asked us all to quieten, close our eyes, and listen for what God had to say to us. No more Billy, just me and this "unknown God" of my teenage years. I submitted, bowed my head, closed my eyes. Then God spoke to me. Not with words did He speak, but He spoke right through me, directly into my heart. He spoke love for me. Quickly overcome, I lost my perspective that I was in a crowd of thousands; it was my God and me. Yes, that day, April 29th, 1979, the God of the universe, the Creator, my heavenly Father spoke deeply into my being. I knew I was alive! I knew I was loved! I knew my future would be changed from this very day...

The execution

2008-08-28T11:30:00.003+10:00

I hope you find this interesting...

How inaccurate was my compass!

2008-08-27T10:21:00.007+10:00

Just when I started "living", this happens... Here I was, a young bloke in my late 20s, just discovering the world. Into almost everything, I had no reason to suspect a massive shift in my life was about to take place. I was in control (or was I really?), I was happy (or was I totally happy) and I was alive! Hmmm... at least this was where my compass was pointing at the time. Little did I know how inaccurate my compass would prove to be. I had no limits in my life, I did what I wanted and when I wanted, within the usual physical or monetary restraints most of us understand. I was telling myself so much; so many lies. And how was I to know that the cruise ship that had brought me such blissful happiness, would seven years later sink to the ocean floor, a sign that my life likewise would be shaken and fall apart! I prepared to go to the Billy Graham Crusade.

All dreamy...

2008-08-26T15:46:00.001+10:00

Don't you just feel like this sometimes? :)

Crossing oblivious to the traffic

2008-08-26T13:34:00.002+10:00

I walked down Pitt Street. I noticed the behaviour of some other city workers, especially when encountering major intersections. Most people stood by the kerb at the lights, but twice, I saw two young people crossing oblivious to the traffic. They walked against the red light, so brazenly. A car hooted at one couple, young girls in their 20s I'd guess. They kept wandering across, reaching the kerb and shaking their hair into place just as if encountering a minor inconvenience. Both groups could have been killed. I thought, if some people treat life at the intersection so trivially, how far do they take this? If they encountered the living Christ in a moment, would they dare shake their hair at Him also? You may think I'm stretching things here, but I wondered for a moment just how lost and self-centred most people are. I know, I fight this same battle daily. I fight myself about these issues of placing myself first, and "tough" if anyone dares to come against me. The assurance I have of personal victory is that Jesus was buffeted by life and faced the same challenges as we do. He faced them and refused to be taken in by them. He conquered life, death and the grave. How? He submitted Himself to His Father in Heaven, our Father also if we know Jesus. And this same Jesus disciplines me through His Spirit. I know I am in His safe hands...

I felt this chill run down my spine

2008-08-25T14:57:00.009+10:00

I remember saying: why hadn't I gone on a cruise before? Overall I was having a great time, even after the first breakfast of porridge severely tested my intestinal fortitude. Passing that test, I looked forward to what this adventure held in store for me. I met some new friends, one of whom was a young woman who took an interest in me, for some reason. We chatted a fair bit, and felt comfortable in each other's company after a few days. Until she mentioned (and I remember her words) "I have a best friend, and He is Jesus". You could have knocked me down with a feather, as I felt this chill run down my spine. I didn't know what to make of all this at the time, but we chose to marry some 18 months later. Returning to dry land, I remembered my vow to go to that Billy Graham Crusade...

A fine job of blow-torching away our smokescreens

2008-08-24T16:59:00.005+10:00

It's great to face a challenge! Today I heard and dwelt on a very good message at our church. Preaching from James, our pastor challenged us on our falling victim to consumerism, or as it is more aptly called, "affluenza". We in Australia, at least most of us, fall victim daily to our own lusts and greediness, believing more is better. Or far worse, that when we think of finances, we are never quite satisfied. Sound like you; it sure sounds like me at times! The best thing about following Jesus in total surrender is that His Holy Spirit does a fine job of blow-torching away our excuses and smokescreens whenever we encounter the truth of God's Word. We can hear and walk away, even run away, but if we stand up to these moments, as I have found, God will gently move us to see things He wants cleansed from us. He will give us His perspective if we are willing to be led along the narrow path of submission. Ah, the narrow way... how at an inconvenient time do we encounter this! And it comes down to us answering the question: "do we choose God's Way and the resultant cleansing, or do we block our senses and continue into eternal oblivion?"

A date in destiny

2008-08-22T12:48:00.003+10:00

Maybe I was missing something. So I embarked on my journey of trying (almost) everything and doing (almost) everything. Well, not everything; I didn't skydive or abseil but for me my life took an "adventurous" turn. I let myself go free but I was all the time sensing a futility of taking this path. In my heart I felt just as lonely, just as insecure and just as rudderless. I shared a flat with two other blokes, so my insulated world grew wider day by day. I also decided to go on a Pacific cruise some time in the future. By going I figured I'd meet more people and fill my life with the stuff other people seem to do. Furthermore, I had this random thought: to catch up with a "Billy Graham Crusade" sometime. One such crusade was promoted for April 1979, a date in destiny for me. To this day I don't know how I decided I wanted to go along to this event as I had no particular thoughts of faith nor longing to get along to church. Far from it; I was having fun! Maybe, just maybe God was real and He was speaking to my heart...

Empty, unloved years

2008-08-21T12:51:00.003+10:00

What I didn't realise, was that the more I told myself I'm OK, the more my ego got fed. I had been a good kid, well behaved, never hurt anyone. I tried so hard to behave "well" that I forgot I wasn't a machine. I forgot I was just as human as the kid next door, down the road. I built up this Kingdom of Self wherein I ruled. I was OK, I was better, my opinions counted! Oh, the value of hindsight. My early 20s were years of doubt, of pain and empty, loveless years. This was the cost I thought of being so good. So perfect. So much in control. Then one day I figured I needed to really start living!

You say it aint idol worship

2008-08-20T09:51:00.005+10:00

Idol worship? Why do we adore those we wish to place on a pedestal? Is it because they display something we don't have, or are they successful in our eyes, or because we are attracted to something about them? Everyone follows after something or someone, be it a sporting team, a talented musician, or even a movie actor. But why? Why is the human condition falling for such misplaced idol worship? You say it aint idol worship, it's just fun. Really? Fun is it, to map out our life by the ones we follow after? We defend them in arguments, we stand up for them if they are under attack, and we even create photo shrines to them all over the place. We all do it in one form or other. We all serve someone, or something. You may feel they have nothing over us, these idols in our life. You are misguided because any idol will claim your heart totally. Either you will fully serve your idol or they will seek to conquer you. One man has come to set you free, if this is what you wish. One man can conquer any power which holds the keys to your heart. One man alone can give you true peace, just One Man.

I felt alone

2008-08-19T12:11:00.003+10:00

For the next decade, into my mid-20s, I coasted. I was an insecure, fearful young adult. I'm not sure just why but I became angry, self-possessed and kinda lonely. No, real lonely. Insecurity is a terrible warden and comes with a vicious routine. I knew I needed to "grow up" but I was too afraid to venture out there into the world to achieve this. I felt alone. I remember two distinct moments in my mid-20s which are etched into my mind. One Saturday night, returning home from a fruitless excursion into the city to find happiness, I screamed out that I was lonely. I was horribly lonely! I cried out from the depths of my heart to a God Whom I had not found, a God Who I was not even sure existed. Another moment, whilst strolling past the Sydney Opera House on a glorious Saturday morning, my mind again went to matters of God. "Did He exist", followed by "I don't know" were my thoughts. Then, in a stroke of brilliance I challenged this vague "God" to "show me you do exist, if you do!" Bold for sure, but little did I know I was in for a life-changing experience a few years later.

After all, I was a good kid...

2008-08-18T14:08:00.005+10:00

All too much I thought. So, I guess like most people who first meet the historical Jesus early in life without the reality of a believing Christ-follower answering my questions, I moved on. There was a big world to conquer, but for me growing into my teen years I carried a lot of baggage. Not only the sort of stuff that others left about me (like teasing, abuse, physical or mental) but one of the cruellest order. The self-induced-I'm-nothing type of baggage. I suppose I hated myself to a degree, but I clothed that in an outward "achiever" cloak. After all, I was a good kid I convinced myself; I behave, I don't do "bad" things, I try very hard to please everyone. Whew! That sort of baggage becomes very hard to discard the longer you leave it! I told myself the biggest lie of all, and believed it for many years. I told myself No-one loved me, No-one was "out there" No-one cared. How so wrong I was...

Time out for recreation

2008-08-16T22:01:00.005+10:00

I'm speechless...

Was He some good guy from story-land?

2008-08-16T12:10:00.004+10:00

As a child, I thought childish things... how true to all of us! My childhood was wrapped by a mystery: what is life all about? Is God or Jesus for real? What's all this "church stuff" about? Before my teens we lived near an Anglican (Church of England) church, to which my parents sent me to Sunday School. I met this character called Jesus, the Lamb of God, the Good Shepherd, the Lord Jesus. But I met Him through stories located in distant lands, and I loved those stories. But was the story-land Jesus the same Jesus pictured realistically up on those stained glass windows? Was He real, was He some good guy? All too hard for this kid to fathom because I met no-one (at least that I can remember) real keen on this Jesus Christ I was being told about. It was a comfortable experience, this Sunday School thing, but attending Church was plain confusing and boring. I connected nothing of Sunday School with my attendance at "Confirmation Class" in readiness for my joining the Anglican Church. What was I being prompted to do in being confirmed; what did it all mean? And why wasn't Mum and Dad with me at Church? All very confusing for this 12 year-old kid! And something inside of me wanted answers, real answers to my questions.

Come on Dave, get real!

2008-08-14T08:19:00.004+10:00

Ah, freedom! Freedom at last! It's an odd thing that a slave can be free, don't you think? Almost impossible... Let me share with you what I mean. All my life I was a slave to sin, to my own lusts, ideals, motivations. I was a slave to my ambitions, my drives, my fears. And I was a slave to my weaknesses, my foolishness and my rather limited intellect. :) However a few years ago, I began to get real with myself over where my life was heading, and became alarmed. I was engulfed in fear mainly concerning the great questions: "what happens next" and "what's my life mean". I thought I had it figured out, but my fear came from realising I was still in control of this vessel called "Dave". But "I am a Christian", I'd protest, attempting to placate my fears. "My Jesus loves me and has saved me from my sin" I'd offer up. "My Jesus is my Saviour, and He is my Lo...." I just could not get that last bit out at all. I thought I had understood and believed for maybe two decades Jesus Christ had died for me, but I had done zilch in response.

Total surrender?

2008-08-13T16:03:00.005+10:00

I wonder what this is all about? Several years ago, I believed I had a close relationship with God and that He had been working through me. For me to be interested in such things you might accuse me of being a religious lunatic, or deluded. But my life is my life, and I'd made it to my early 50s finding God (or at least He found me) and calling myself a Christian. But... was I really submitted to the will of God through Jesus Christ? I thought I was, but several events in my life proved otherwise.
At this point, you may ask why is this so important?
I can only say that the true relationship you have with Jesus Christ will determine your ultimate eternal destiny. More to come...